Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
