Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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