She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize