Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
