i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
