You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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