Do you still have your period?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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