is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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