I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
