Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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