They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
i believe in u and ur pee
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
