so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize