the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
