that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
