party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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