if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
