We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize