Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
