I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
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