There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize