We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
