Are we in a gay sports bar?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
