I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
