I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
