I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
