New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
There was a lot of him and a little penis
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
