So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I want to be your penis for a week.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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