i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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