cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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