playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
be right there i have to get my cape
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
