did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
