I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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