Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
