Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
