No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
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