i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
