I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
