So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
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