Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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