Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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