i permit you to call me
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
