they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
