he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize