we're blogging at a bar
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
