Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
