i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Drunk is not a location!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
