DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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