it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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