i just identified you from a description of your pipe
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
