a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
is that a dick in a sweater?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
