why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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