have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
