My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
