Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
operation harelip BJ is a go
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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