my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
