apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
