I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
