the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize