Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
tell me about the eggs
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
