I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize