The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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